If you keep saying you would love to be in a relationship but still find yourself being single, it is simply because part of you (the unconscious one) doesn’t want to be in a relationship.
You can try everything you want, but as long as what you are saying out loud and what’s happening in your brain doesn’t align, it’s not going to happen.
Let me explain how it actually works, and share 3 simple steps to attract your ideal romantic partner.
Your radar is on the wrong settings
If you can’t meet anyone that meets your expectations or you keep attracting the wrong kind of people in your life, it’s not because of a shortage of good people, but because your radar is on the wrong settings.
Every given second, your brain is exposed to over 2 millions bits of information. Yet, it can only process 134… See where I’m going?!
Your brain can only process a very small portion of what’s out there, and has to make decisions of what’s useful and what to ignore.
Because it’s so busy making millions of decisions every seconds, our brain takes the path of least resistance, working on autopilot off our most unconscious thoughts and belief systems.
And it doesn’t matter whether it makes you happy or not, the brain keeps repeating the formula it knows best.
As long as a situation seems familiar, it activates a certain level of safety and certainty – even if that means consistently choosing the pervert narcissists in the room, the unavailable guys/girls, the guys who don’t want children…
To start attracting different people you need to change the way you’re looking at the world.
Step 1 – Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want
When asking my clients for what they are looking for in a partner, a lot of the time they focus on “he’s not like this”, “she doesn’t do that”.
What you focus on expands!
If your radar is set on all the wrong things… you find all the wrong things!
The easy way to flip the script is to turn all the negatives into positives (eg. not too old > my age or younger, not fat > fit or slim, not selfish > generous).
Note that the brain doesn’t process the negative…
DO NOT think of a pink elephant!
What did you just think about?
Make sure to get clear on what you DO want in a partner.
Step 2 – Get really specific
I typically ask my clients to write their ‘shopping list’ of what they want in a partner.
And you get to write a very looooong list!
If you only have 10-20 items and you think you’re being picky, I invite you to keep digging and write 50 character traits, 50 physical attributes and 50 lifestyle criterias.
It’s not that easy, huh!
You will need to tap into the unconscious part of your brain to add more to your list!
A quick tip, if you get really stuck: observe people around you.
At home, in the street, at work… See how this guy walks, watch what this girl wears, notice his voice, maybe her laugh, the question he asked, the comment she made…
Do you have a clearer image of your person now?
Step 3 – Embody those qualities
The shopping list is not so much to go out and hunt them but so you understand who you need to become to create a harmonious relationship with them.
It is not about playing games and pretending to be someone you are not!
If you are admiring these qualities in someone else, it’s either because you do have them yourself or you’d like to be a bit more like that.
So why not adopt them for yourself?!
When embodying these qualities, you will naturally gravitate towards new people, situations, places and have more chances to bump into your person.
And when you do meet, you’ll have a lot to talk about, it will feel natural and effortless to be around each other.
To sum it up…
There couldn’t be a simpler process!
Becoming the best version of you will attract the best partner you could possibly dream of.
That’s how 80% of my clients have met their ideal partner organically after 4-5 coaching sessions.
So please go for it, and share with me how it is all going for you!
And what about the other 20%?! Why do you think I am now offering matchmaking?![/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]