You might genuinely think that your loved ones, your family, your friends, are the most important thing in Life.
Yet you spend a lot of time at work, you barely touch ground going from one meeting to the next, constantly on the phone, taking calls or answering emails…
You never stop. But who could blame you for working so hard, for paying the bills, setting great foundations for the future, wanting to look after your family?!
But is Work or Love coming first then? Who are you more committed to?
Where do you spend your time and money?
Answered honestly, this very simple question reveals where your values and priorities are.
Commitment is measured by behaviour, not by words and intentions.
And you might think that all these hours of hard work are for your family, future or existing, but are they?
If you really valued them so much, wouldn’t you do anything to spend more time with them, to share all these little moments that end up being great memories?
Unfortunately, too many people wait for a crisis – a divorce, a life-threatening disease – to set their priorities straight.
Of course money makes life more comfortable but it will never patch the hole of loving connections.
Just like binge eating, binge watching TV, binge working is another way to numb pain.
This is probably the most clever and sneakier of all because no one can blame you for your financial independence or to provide for your family.
But what if you stopped for a bit?!
Would you be able to switch off?
Outside of your job and money, do you know who you are, what you want?
Are you able to connect with yourself? With others?
A lot of busy entrepreneurs and professionals feel a total loss of identity when they have to stop.
Without going as far as closure/sell of the business, redundancy or retirement, a simple holiday can send some of us into a spin, bringing to awareness all the suppressed emotions we’d rather hide under busy-ness.
Maybe work is not the cause of you being single or having a rocky relationship with your partner and/or your kids. Maybe work is the symptom of something deeper that needs to be addressed and healed.
A fear of connecting, of not being good enough, of losing yourself… just like trying to hold a balloon under water, it always eventually pops back to the surface.
Working is such a great escape.
While your mind is busy with work, tapping into the logical, rational part of the brain, everything seems under control and feels safe.
Emotions, on the contrary, feel quite risky, leaving us vulnerable and potentially exposed to pain and heartache.
However, most of the pain and heartache is a mere product of our thoughts, a memory of the past or imagination of the future.
Our brain likes to think about the worst case scenario… just in case!
But while it’s getting ready for some apocalyptic scenario, where your heart is shredded to pieces, it can’t appreciate all the beauty in the world, all the love, the little things that make life so special, that is already here, and which you could get more of if only you could see it in the first place.
So I invite you to stop, just for a breath and be grateful for all you already have, without feeling the need to chase the next promotion, the next deal, the next title… just enjoy being, instead of doing.
To sum it up…
Do you really know where you’re heading? If you think more work and more money will get you the love and happiness you’re seeking for, I urge you to reassess!
Work can provide a strong sense of identity and security. But who would you be without it and what would you do with your life?
One might get lost into work to avoid feeling vulnerable and potentially exposed to pain. But by doing so, it is also closing one’s heart to all the beauty and happiness this world has to offer.